*For the sake of not using names here I'm going to call my significant other D.

When I first started sleeping over at D's house it came to my attention that I was going to have to use his bathroom at some point for more than just a little tinkle. One day I was sitting on the couch watching tv while D was using the bathroom. All of a sudden I hear him fart. I thought to myself... if I can hear him fart, he can most definitely hear me should I fart.

At this point I had to make a decision... to poo or not to poo. I could drive down the street to my parent's house where I was living at the time to do my business or just suck it up and hope I wouldn't fart myself to death in his bathroom.

The time came when I had to use his bathroom and somehow I knew I was going to have to fart. I decided I had to take the matter into my own hands. Literally. I took some toilet paper, wadded it up, and strategically placed it over my butt hole. You have no idea how perfectly this worked out in my favor. I farted and you could barely hear it.

When I finally told D what I had been doing he told me I was using my muffler. I have long since stopped using the muffler, but I can't help but think about it from time to time when I'm in the bathroom and I have a toot or two.
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