Merry Christmas Eve everyone! I've been quite lazy for the past few days... and it's been incredibly amazing. I'm in Montana for the holidays with the bf. My last day of classes was last Thursday, wow a whole week ago. I found out I got a B+ in my photo class and a B in my Speech Communications class. I was really hoping for A's, but I can settle for B's. These classes are tough, if I do say so myself.
I have been trying to get myself back into the twitter world and now the blogging world. I think I am going to make one of those blasted New Year's resolution lists and keep myself as close to it as possible. Maybe you would like to help keep me accountable?
Speaking of twitter. There was a conversation today about "Old King Clancy" and it had me interested, so I moseyed (mosey is a funny word) on over to Urban Dictionary to find out what it meant.
The funny thing about my curiosity is that just last night we were having a conversation about sayings similar to Old King Clancy. I'll let you in a couple of them because I'm just that cool. If you would prefer not to be enlightened (or grossed out) I wouldn't suggest moving ahead in this post. It might get a little sticky for your tastes. (hehe I am a teenage boy, but not really, but sorta)
Rusty Trombone - having someone lick your asshole while giving you a blow job
Donkey Punch - punching someone in the back of the head while performing anal sex on them
Cleveland Steamer - taking a shit on someone's chest
Dirty Pirate - when being given a blow job the guy gizzes in his partner's eye and then kicks her in the shin, so she hops around on one leg with one eye open
Meatball Bulldozer - when a man is able to stick his penis and balls in a woman's vagina at the same time
Ok so I didn't say that was going to be pretty. Funny? Yes. Have I done any of these? No. Have you done any of these? Well...I don't really know that I want to know, but to each his own.
I hope you have not taken offense to this post, because I love you all and hope to see you back again soon. I promise I won't make every post as educational as this one. *wink*
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Showing posts with label Effed Up Shiz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Effed Up Shiz. Show all posts
911 Emergency... How May I Direct Your Call
Well hello there! I can't sleep, so I decided I would post about last night's nonsense.
My roommates and I were getting ready to leave the house for a bit and all of a sudden we all heard a woman scream. This was no ordinary oh no I'm being tickled or I have just been frightened momentarily kind of scream. This was a holy shit there is something definitely wrong kind of scream. I was definitely worried.
I was standing outside our front door when I saw an SUV drive by with said screaming girl in it. About 10 seconds later the SUV pulled over across the street and turned off it's light and engine. Weird. The girl continued to scream. She wasn't saying anything, she was screaming like she was in pain or there was something seriously wrong.
My two roommates, two of our neighbor girls and I walked closer to the vehicle without getting too close and just watched and listened. I yelled, "Are you ok?" No response and then there was silence. The girl abruptly stopped screaming. We couldn't see anything because it was dark out and we have no street lights. We listened some more and yelled again to see if she was ok. Still no answer.
I was impatient, so I said, "If you don't answer right now I'm going to call the sheriff's department."
No answer.
So I called 911. I gave the lady my name, address, and told her everything that was going on. Her response, "What city?" I told her, and she told me she had to transfer me to someone else who I then had to tell the entire story to. This poor girl could be being murdered for all we knew and this lady wanted to transfer me? WTF?
The man I spoke to told me he would send someone to investigate and gave me the number to call back and make sure they found this girl.
I waited about and hour and a half and called back. Their response? "We got in contact with someone and everything is fine." The end.
Ummm... that's crazy and I don't know how I feel about that happening in front of where I live, especially since I supposedly live in one of the nicer neighborhoods in Santa Barbara. Read More
My roommates and I were getting ready to leave the house for a bit and all of a sudden we all heard a woman scream. This was no ordinary oh no I'm being tickled or I have just been frightened momentarily kind of scream. This was a holy shit there is something definitely wrong kind of scream. I was definitely worried.
I was standing outside our front door when I saw an SUV drive by with said screaming girl in it. About 10 seconds later the SUV pulled over across the street and turned off it's light and engine. Weird. The girl continued to scream. She wasn't saying anything, she was screaming like she was in pain or there was something seriously wrong.
My two roommates, two of our neighbor girls and I walked closer to the vehicle without getting too close and just watched and listened. I yelled, "Are you ok?" No response and then there was silence. The girl abruptly stopped screaming. We couldn't see anything because it was dark out and we have no street lights. We listened some more and yelled again to see if she was ok. Still no answer.
I was impatient, so I said, "If you don't answer right now I'm going to call the sheriff's department."
No answer.
So I called 911. I gave the lady my name, address, and told her everything that was going on. Her response, "What city?" I told her, and she told me she had to transfer me to someone else who I then had to tell the entire story to. This poor girl could be being murdered for all we knew and this lady wanted to transfer me? WTF?
The man I spoke to told me he would send someone to investigate and gave me the number to call back and make sure they found this girl.
I waited about and hour and a half and called back. Their response? "We got in contact with someone and everything is fine." The end.
Ummm... that's crazy and I don't know how I feel about that happening in front of where I live, especially since I supposedly live in one of the nicer neighborhoods in Santa Barbara. Read More
Etiquette
Last week was my break week between sessions, so I went home to Nevada. It was a good trip. I got to see my parents, D, and some friends and I got a LOT of sleep. It was great.
I just thought I would pop in to give a few friendly bits of etiquette for traveling:
I just thought I would pop in to give a few friendly bits of etiquette for traveling:
- Do not spray perfume/ cologne on an airplane, train, in a car etc.
- Do not sit on top of me in my window seat to take a picture out the window
- Do not be a creeper and stair in my direction the entire flight even if you're looking out the window (it's creepy and there is a possibility I will punch you in the toothless grin)
- Do not leave your suitcase in the isle so everyone walking by will run into it
- Do not try to sell me your aderol
When It Rains It Pours
Well hello there! I feel like these past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind and I don't even know where to begin. This is going to be a bullet point post, hope you don't mind.
Oh and another thing... I've been worrying like I do. I've been second guessing myself and whether I want to move to California and be so far away from D. I've been looking into other options and I've gotta tell ya I have myself all flustered. Tomorrow morning I have a meeting with the admissions representative at The Salon Professional Academy to talk about aesthetics. You know like makeup and waxing of the nether regions and good stuff like that. I don't know that I will pursue it, but it's definitely something to look into. Maybe I'm just being too worrisome, but I do have an interest in makeup. For a second I thought it might be a good idea to get my license in aesthetics and work as an aesthetician while going to school. I don't know what will come of it, but I'll be sure to keep you all informed. I know you're sitting on the edge of you're seat waiting to find out. Read More
- D's dad passed away Monday, May 18th. He had sleep apnia and passed in his sleep. It has truly been a very sad couple of weeks.
- D's sister's cat died at the vet during a procedure to remove a tooth. We were at the funeral home making arrangements when she found out.
- The air conditioning went out.
- The transmission in D's mom's car is going bad, which means the purchase of a new car for her.
- I have to replace all four tires on my car. That's $500 I could spend in so many other ways.
- I still haven't heard back about my school loan. I have called every weekday since the 15th and every day they tell me "you should call back in 3-5 business days." Eff the 3-5 business days. I want to know right now if you're going to give me money to further my education. Gah!
- I'm sure there is more that I'm not thinking of right now, but I don't want to continue being such a debbie downer. It's times like this that make me appreciate the life we are given and that it needs to be lived to it's fullest.
Oh and another thing... I've been worrying like I do. I've been second guessing myself and whether I want to move to California and be so far away from D. I've been looking into other options and I've gotta tell ya I have myself all flustered. Tomorrow morning I have a meeting with the admissions representative at The Salon Professional Academy to talk about aesthetics. You know like makeup and waxing of the nether regions and good stuff like that. I don't know that I will pursue it, but it's definitely something to look into. Maybe I'm just being too worrisome, but I do have an interest in makeup. For a second I thought it might be a good idea to get my license in aesthetics and work as an aesthetician while going to school. I don't know what will come of it, but I'll be sure to keep you all informed. I know you're sitting on the edge of you're seat waiting to find out. Read More